Grief is not linear, allow yourself to feel joy again.
It is common to feel guilt when you have a good day after a loss, but experiencing happiness doesn’t erase your grief. This video explores why it is essential to let yourself—and others—experience moments of peace without judgment.
If someone you love is grieving and they’re having a good day, enjoy it with them. Let them have that good day, because they’re going to have plenty of bad ones — and they need to feel free to experience the good days without worrying that someone is judging them for it.
That freedom matters because the internal response to having a good day is often guilt. People grieving frequently feel strange or even guilty when they catch themselves feeling okay, especially early on. Having someone who is completely non-judgmental — who is willing to embrace that good day right alongside them — can be an incredibly powerful and comforting experience.
But a good day doesn’t mean the bad days are over. Grief simply isn’t linear. The popular “five stages of grief” model has done real harm by creating the impression that grief moves in a straight, predictable line from one stage to the next. It doesn’t. A good day doesn’t guarantee that tomorrow — or even that same evening — won’t feel awful again. And a bad day doesn’t mean the next one won’t be good.
The lesson is simple: let people be wherever they are emotionally, and support them in that, without expectations about what should come next.
When my husband died, there was no grief support available to me. I had to find my way through grief and rebuild my life all on my own. I’m now on a mission to make sure that no one else has to go through grief alone.
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